That would be something Loki could understand easily. Most everything in his life had felt out of control for the last few years. He'd schemed and planned and done everything in his power to try and hold onto some sort of control, but it had all flown away from him like smoke through the air. It wasn't like he needed control all the time, in fact Loki tended to flourish in chaos, but it had felt like he was losing everything important to him. He figured this was how Sky had felt about losing Cas and Dean.
In Loki's mind, Sky hadn't done anything that would make him leave. If anything, he'd thought Sky was going to be done with him. He couldn't have blamed him. Loki had lost him two of his closest friends in the prison. It didn't matter that it had not been his intention, Sky had every right to be upset. If anyone needed to thank the Norns, it was Loki for not pushing Sky away completely. Now he would do anything to make it up to him, to show him how much he loved him and wanted him around. Nothing less would do.
Loki hugged Sky tight, pressing his face into his neck and simply breathing him in for a moment. "I did, but I am very sorry it hurt you. I simply could not let it lie. I swear, I tried to be reasonable. I only wanted them to know so that they wouldn't repeat their actions in future. I thought there would be an apology and you would talk about it, not that they would abandon you. I cannot apologize enough. I should've thought through it more, but these things anger me so much now. I could not bear the thought of someone I love being hurt that way again.
"I think with some rules in place, it is possible you could have a good time at an orgy. These things are not for everyone though. You do not need to attend if another happens." Loki pulled back just enough to look Sky in the eyes again, wanting him to know he was serious. Not all kinks were for everyone and there was no shame in that.
A real and honest smile spread across Loki's face. "I do have another room, you know. I meant it when I said it is available to you whenever. That could be always, if you want it."
It was funny the contrast in their thinking. While Sky did feel completely out of control about all of this, he blamed himself. He never would allow another person to take the blame for the things that he had initiated, or the things that he'd said yes to. He had taken his upset out on people at the times he needed to and for the things that they'd hurt him about. He was over with it now. Sky was not a man that held onto bitter grief, unless it was his father. He could be a bit of an arse, but there had been only one man to truly get under his skin, and he'd forgiven even him in the end.
Chaos was the worst thing that plagued the specialist, and now that it was smoothing out, Sky would deal with the fallout the best he could. He had no idea what his relationships with people would look like from here on out, or if he'd have many other relationships, but he'd do his best to keep track of what he did have and to nourish it.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm Loki some. He shook his head. "It's truly okay. I am okay about it all. It happened and now they will live their best lives together. I will live my best life with you. If they don't understand us, and I don't understand them, then that's how it's going to be. We can't be angry about things we can't change. Don't be angry about the past, Loki. It only makes you stressed and bitter, and I found you like that. I mean, I enjoy fucking you out of it, but I don't like you in that mood."
There was a small smile on Sky's lips as he caught Loki's for a kiss, this one deeper than the last and full of intent and meaning. He wanted the god to remember what they really were to one another. He gripped tight at Loki's hair and yanked on it hard, gathering up his attention. He remembered all too well how loki responded to his dominance and Sky wouldn't hesitate to use it now. Biting at the god's lip, he sucked on it firmly until it dropped from between them.
Sky's lip curled at the side. "We'll see about an orgy if and when there is another one. What I want to hear again, is that you mean it about that room? I can come and live with you, at your house? You mean that I don't have to stay in that sorry fucking excuse of a cube? Loki..." He wrapped his arms tight around his lover again, and tried hard not to let himself cry from relief, but it was hard. The last thing that Sky wanted was to go back to that place alone again. He hated leaving the warmth of Loki's embrace, and to even have the chance of staying by his side as they slept now and then... it was a blessing.
One day, Loki would have to ask Sky how he did that, how he could let go of bitter grief like that. It was something that Loki had never been very good at himself. Mostly his hurt churned and boiled within him as he plotted ways to get back at who he’d thought had wronged him or hurt him. Loki was very much an emotional being that often had trouble containing himself. Though he’d gotten a bit better at calming himself, this was something still very true about himself. Something he wasn’t sure he could change even if he wanted to.
While they might have a slightly differing opinion on chaos in general, Loki thought he could understand why Sky thought it a bad thing. It could certainly bring upheaval that was unwanted and that had certainly happened to the young specialist a lot lately. Still, he would agree that Sky was dealing with this all in a good way. Sometimes you could not control how others reacted and you simply had to learn to live with that, unfortunate as it might be.
Loki huffed slightly as Sky spoke, but a small smile also pulled at his lips. “I do not have a good record of controlling my emotions over such things very well. I do tend to blame myself when people I care for are hurt, largely because I am used to being the cause, but I am trying to be better. I am trying to let these things go, please know that.” And that was all he could really do at the moment. He would try, both for his own wellbeing and for Sky, but he didn’t want to make promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. Though with Sky, he would definitely try his best.
After everything they'd been through, Loki could hardly imagine forgetting, but even if he could, the fierce kiss and pull to his hair would have easily been enough to remind him. Loki gasped into the kiss before kissing back with everything he had. Sky was very correct, Loki have enjoyed his dominance quite a lot and this was bringing that all back to the forefront of his mind.
“Yes,” Loki said breathlessly with a wide smile on his face. “The room is all yours. You could move in right now if you want.” Loki felt like he was going to burst from both relief and happiness. He returned the embrace fully, laughing slightly as he felt overjoyed at the response he got. Not all that long ago he’d thought he’d lost Sky forever, so now to have this was more than he ever could’ve asked for.
There were still wells of pain inside of Sky and a hole that was left behind by the people that he lost. It was what had to be. The only way Sky knew, or figured he'd be able to move on with it, was to throw himself into the man that he loved and fight for all that they had. He honestly wasn't completely healthy in how he handled all that had happened to him, and there would be fallout for what happened at the orgy in time to come.
The sex that he had with other people would most certainly be different, and it was doubtful that anyone would be able to gag or handcuff him in any near future. None of that was Loki's fault. The parts that Loki played in hurting Sky had been turned around. They had been forwarded into love, and love was something that Sky was learning how to do, and in leaps and bounds.
Allowing himself the freedom to let go, and really love this wonderful man in front of him was all the nurturing or payback he needed. Let everyone see what they had and be fucking jealous. Let them see that he can make it work, and that he's really fucking happy and not emotionally messed up anymore.
He nuzzled Loki after their exchange, and bit at his lip again playfully. "I'm not controlling myself. I'm focusing it all on you. All my pain and hurt I'm turning to love. Fuck anyone who ever doubted, who ever thought I couldn't get myself together and really love. Let them see us, and see what happy looks like. Let them see me living and not a basket case. That's revenge enough."
Looking around at the room, Sky laughed. He barely had anything in the tiny cube that he considered his, a few things the prison gave him for being good at fucking, and some clothes he bought. That was about it. He hadn't gone out of his way to make the tiny space his. This though, was more than enough. It already felt like home. "You know I'll be here tonight. I'll go get my stuff as soon as you're done helping me make this room officially mine... and yours." He laughed, and ran his fingers along the inside of Loki's shirt, tracing over remembered lines that he was beginning to grow attached to.
Whatever fallout there might be, Loki would stand by Sky’s side. He had been hurt and had reacted as such. He could not see a reason why Sky should be blamed for any of that. Simply because it had not necessarily been the intention of those who had hurt him did not mean he had not been hurt. Though it wouldn’t surprise Loki if this all came to a head at some point. People did not like hearing how they had hurt people. That was something he was intimately familiar with.
Loki still felt a lot of guilt surrounding how he had been one of the people to hurt Sky, but in retrospect, he knew there was little he could do about it other than move on. In future he would be more clear about what he might do if they were ever to attend an orgy together again, or they could set out rules. There were ways to deal with these things, ways he should have thought of before they had attended any orgy, but live and learn, he supposed. Now he knew to take extra special care with Sky and he vowed never to hurt him again.
A wide grin spread across Loki’s face. “Well, I admit I am enjoying the attention. You are right, revenge is best served by showing them how they do not affect your life anymore. You have me now, and I promise to always treat you well. You are wonderful and deserve nothing but the best. Everyone else can go to Hel.” He meant it. Sky was under his protection now. He knew he was getting along with others too. He didn’t need those who didn’t treat him as the most wonderful person Loki knew him to be.
Loki cupped Sky’s face before leaning in and placing a chased kiss on his lips. “You better be here tonight, and every other night.” With Sky moving into the last bedroom, Loki somehow felt complete. Like his found family was now all under one roof and he could relax, knowing he could keep them all safe. It wasn’t fully true, seeing as some also lived other places, and he had friends he would fight for as well, but it was still something that gave him more peace than he’d known was possible.
In Sky's mind things had already come to a head regarding the events of the orgy and he didn't need anything more to happen in regards to it. The other people that hurt him were not ones that he was prepared to meet in the prison and he wasn't sure what would happen if he might come across them, but all things in time. Right now Sky was going to focus on the things that he had going for him.
Echos of the pain that Sky felt when he'd seen Loki at the orgy still existed, but Sky had worked hard to forgive the man he loved over the time they'd been apart. There had been a lot of work done in Sky's heart and mind. He was angry for a while, but with some focused training and letting himself actually feel his emotions instead of trying to always repress them all, Sky managed to get through it all. Now he felt worlds better about everything. He came to the conclusion that he'd just shared with Loki, a healthy one. Finally.
"I know you will, love. You always do treat me well and the times when we've had misunderstandings it's mainly been because we didn't communicate before, or didn't understand one another. The rest of the world around us really can go fuck off." Nuzzling into Loki's embrace, Sky fingered over the smooth skin of Loki's back tracing up along the well known places of his spine, and into the small secret places he knew where all the dips and muscles traded off into sensitive spots that made the god sigh.
"I will never ever need to sleep without you. I think that will be one thing I'd like to make sure of, is that no matter what this prison does, is that I'll come home to you every night, to kiss your face, and love you some before bed." He hoped that one day they'd be able to sleep in the same bed at night, but he knew that for now it was good enough that he had a room in the same house and that he could make the promise to always come home, and never stay the night at another person's house. This was a tiny show of love that he could give in a prison that made relationships so very difficult.
It did seem it was time to put everything that had happened at the orgy behind them. Sky seemed to have worked through all that had hurt him that night, even if he wasn’t fully recovered. He was on the right road and that was all Loki needed. Keeping those he loved happy and safe had become quite the priority for him and he would always do everything in his power to make sure that was always so.
“I must apologize for my part of not communicating well. I know sometimes I seem to have it all together, but relationships truly are quite new to me, at least this kind of relationship. It was not something I ever thought I could have or even deserved so I never put much thought into it. I am afraid it has been a bit of a learning curve.” He smiled softly at Sky, just so happy he hadn’t ruined everything. He might have to actually start praying to the Norns if his luck kept up like this.
Sky’s words filled him with a sense of peace he hadn’t often known. It felt like a promise with more intent than Loki was used to and he truly couldn’t be happier. He didn’t actually need Sky to promise these things, but he appreciated it none-the-less. “Then I shall look forward to every evening and every moment we spend together. Now, after you get your things, we can see about making your room more to your style, if you wish. It is really quite generic right now. Please know you may do with it anything you wish and I would gladly help with whatever you may need.”
There were a few things that Sky wouldn't do again, but he was truly well now that he had the single man that loved him the most in the world by his side. There was nothing more that he needed beside him any longer. The anger, the fear, it was all subsiding in the face of falling back together with the puzzle piece that fit him. It was fate in a way he never knew could happen like this.
"We all have trouble with talking sometimes. You can't fucking blame yourself all the time. I know that you're new to relationships like this, and so am I. I only had one screwed up relationship before this with Stella, and one that... well, you know what happened to Bloom. I told you earlier. I used to blame myself, but I know it's not all my fault. You deserve both Duo and myself. You're wonderful, and I'm so lucky to fucking have you." He brushed his fingers along Loki's face and leaned in to kiss him softly, nuzzling their lips together before tracing the outside of Loki's lips with his tongue, flicking across them playfully with a smile.
"I love the way you taste, all of you." He looked around. He hadn't really made a room all his before. He'd had his room at home. It was simple with pictures of his horses and himself, a big window that looked outside. He'd have taken something like that, but it was quite impossible here. He missed rolling hills and his horses, the beautiful landscape he grew up with. He'd trade it for being with Loki though, he'd trade anything for that. "I don't know, this is alright for now. Can you take me to my cube, and I'll grab my clothes and a bag of things to bring back and we're done. I don't have anything really. I'm ready to be here."
It seemed they had all learned something from this fiasco, which was about all any of them could hope for, really. Loki just hoped now that everything seemed to be settled, they could relax, Sky could get settled in the home they now shared and they could get back to figuring out the mysteries of this prison, and maybe a way for them all to leave without being separated (though that was the only way Loki would leave, if he didn’t also lose those important to him).
“I know, I do and I am trying, but it seems I am a work in progress.” He smiled softly at Sky, head tilting into his gentle touch. The idea that he deserved the love of one person was still a new concept to him, but two? Though he revelled in how happy it made him, he couldn’t stop worrying about how it could all go wrong. He pushed those negative thoughts from his head though, at least for the moment. Right now he had Sky here, happy and in his arms. How could he think anything but positive thoughts?
The kiss was sweet and yet passionate and Loki couldn’t help but marvel in what it meant to have such a thing. “Oh yes? Then you must taste me more often,” he said, half teasingly. He felt like he could kiss Sky forever and not get bored. His grin spread and he leaned in to kiss Sky once more quickly. “I will gladly take you to get your things. And we do not have to do anything to your room. Just know you can if you wish to.”
Loki pulled Sky in close and kissed him once more. “Here we go.” A moment later, they were in Sky’s cube, ready to get his things and leave the small cell behind for good.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
abit_ofboth) wrote2022-06-19 07:26 pm
no subject
In Loki's mind, Sky hadn't done anything that would make him leave. If anything, he'd thought Sky was going to be done with him. He couldn't have blamed him. Loki had lost him two of his closest friends in the prison. It didn't matter that it had not been his intention, Sky had every right to be upset. If anyone needed to thank the Norns, it was Loki for not pushing Sky away completely. Now he would do anything to make it up to him, to show him how much he loved him and wanted him around. Nothing less would do.
Loki hugged Sky tight, pressing his face into his neck and simply breathing him in for a moment. "I did, but I am very sorry it hurt you. I simply could not let it lie. I swear, I tried to be reasonable. I only wanted them to know so that they wouldn't repeat their actions in future. I thought there would be an apology and you would talk about it, not that they would abandon you. I cannot apologize enough. I should've thought through it more, but these things anger me so much now. I could not bear the thought of someone I love being hurt that way again.
"I think with some rules in place, it is possible you could have a good time at an orgy. These things are not for everyone though. You do not need to attend if another happens." Loki pulled back just enough to look Sky in the eyes again, wanting him to know he was serious. Not all kinks were for everyone and there was no shame in that.
A real and honest smile spread across Loki's face. "I do have another room, you know. I meant it when I said it is available to you whenever. That could be always, if you want it."
no subject
Chaos was the worst thing that plagued the specialist, and now that it was smoothing out, Sky would deal with the fallout the best he could. He had no idea what his relationships with people would look like from here on out, or if he'd have many other relationships, but he'd do his best to keep track of what he did have and to nourish it.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm Loki some. He shook his head. "It's truly okay. I am okay about it all. It happened and now they will live their best lives together. I will live my best life with you. If they don't understand us, and I don't understand them, then that's how it's going to be. We can't be angry about things we can't change. Don't be angry about the past, Loki. It only makes you stressed and bitter, and I found you like that. I mean, I enjoy fucking you out of it, but I don't like you in that mood."
There was a small smile on Sky's lips as he caught Loki's for a kiss, this one deeper than the last and full of intent and meaning. He wanted the god to remember what they really were to one another. He gripped tight at Loki's hair and yanked on it hard, gathering up his attention. He remembered all too well how loki responded to his dominance and Sky wouldn't hesitate to use it now. Biting at the god's lip, he sucked on it firmly until it dropped from between them.
Sky's lip curled at the side. "We'll see about an orgy if and when there is another one. What I want to hear again, is that you mean it about that room? I can come and live with you, at your house? You mean that I don't have to stay in that sorry fucking excuse of a cube? Loki..." He wrapped his arms tight around his lover again, and tried hard not to let himself cry from relief, but it was hard. The last thing that Sky wanted was to go back to that place alone again. He hated leaving the warmth of Loki's embrace, and to even have the chance of staying by his side as they slept now and then... it was a blessing.
no subject
While they might have a slightly differing opinion on chaos in general, Loki thought he could understand why Sky thought it a bad thing. It could certainly bring upheaval that was unwanted and that had certainly happened to the young specialist a lot lately. Still, he would agree that Sky was dealing with this all in a good way. Sometimes you could not control how others reacted and you simply had to learn to live with that, unfortunate as it might be.
Loki huffed slightly as Sky spoke, but a small smile also pulled at his lips. “I do not have a good record of controlling my emotions over such things very well. I do tend to blame myself when people I care for are hurt, largely because I am used to being the cause, but I am trying to be better. I am trying to let these things go, please know that.” And that was all he could really do at the moment. He would try, both for his own wellbeing and for Sky, but he didn’t want to make promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. Though with Sky, he would definitely try his best.
After everything they'd been through, Loki could hardly imagine forgetting, but even if he could, the fierce kiss and pull to his hair would have easily been enough to remind him. Loki gasped into the kiss before kissing back with everything he had. Sky was very correct, Loki have enjoyed his dominance quite a lot and this was bringing that all back to the forefront of his mind.
“Yes,” Loki said breathlessly with a wide smile on his face. “The room is all yours. You could move in right now if you want.” Loki felt like he was going to burst from both relief and happiness. He returned the embrace fully, laughing slightly as he felt overjoyed at the response he got. Not all that long ago he’d thought he’d lost Sky forever, so now to have this was more than he ever could’ve asked for.
no subject
The sex that he had with other people would most certainly be different, and it was doubtful that anyone would be able to gag or handcuff him in any near future. None of that was Loki's fault. The parts that Loki played in hurting Sky had been turned around. They had been forwarded into love, and love was something that Sky was learning how to do, and in leaps and bounds.
Allowing himself the freedom to let go, and really love this wonderful man in front of him was all the nurturing or payback he needed. Let everyone see what they had and be fucking jealous. Let them see that he can make it work, and that he's really fucking happy and not emotionally messed up anymore.
He nuzzled Loki after their exchange, and bit at his lip again playfully. "I'm not controlling myself. I'm focusing it all on you. All my pain and hurt I'm turning to love. Fuck anyone who ever doubted, who ever thought I couldn't get myself together and really love. Let them see us, and see what happy looks like. Let them see me living and not a basket case. That's revenge enough."
Looking around at the room, Sky laughed. He barely had anything in the tiny cube that he considered his, a few things the prison gave him for being good at fucking, and some clothes he bought. That was about it. He hadn't gone out of his way to make the tiny space his. This though, was more than enough. It already felt like home. "You know I'll be here tonight. I'll go get my stuff as soon as you're done helping me make this room officially mine... and yours." He laughed, and ran his fingers along the inside of Loki's shirt, tracing over remembered lines that he was beginning to grow attached to.
no subject
Loki still felt a lot of guilt surrounding how he had been one of the people to hurt Sky, but in retrospect, he knew there was little he could do about it other than move on. In future he would be more clear about what he might do if they were ever to attend an orgy together again, or they could set out rules. There were ways to deal with these things, ways he should have thought of before they had attended any orgy, but live and learn, he supposed. Now he knew to take extra special care with Sky and he vowed never to hurt him again.
A wide grin spread across Loki’s face. “Well, I admit I am enjoying the attention. You are right, revenge is best served by showing them how they do not affect your life anymore. You have me now, and I promise to always treat you well. You are wonderful and deserve nothing but the best. Everyone else can go to Hel.” He meant it. Sky was under his protection now. He knew he was getting along with others too. He didn’t need those who didn’t treat him as the most wonderful person Loki knew him to be.
Loki cupped Sky’s face before leaning in and placing a chased kiss on his lips. “You better be here tonight, and every other night.” With Sky moving into the last bedroom, Loki somehow felt complete. Like his found family was now all under one roof and he could relax, knowing he could keep them all safe. It wasn’t fully true, seeing as some also lived other places, and he had friends he would fight for as well, but it was still something that gave him more peace than he’d known was possible.
no subject
Echos of the pain that Sky felt when he'd seen Loki at the orgy still existed, but Sky had worked hard to forgive the man he loved over the time they'd been apart. There had been a lot of work done in Sky's heart and mind. He was angry for a while, but with some focused training and letting himself actually feel his emotions instead of trying to always repress them all, Sky managed to get through it all. Now he felt worlds better about everything. He came to the conclusion that he'd just shared with Loki, a healthy one. Finally.
"I know you will, love. You always do treat me well and the times when we've had misunderstandings it's mainly been because we didn't communicate before, or didn't understand one another. The rest of the world around us really can go fuck off." Nuzzling into Loki's embrace, Sky fingered over the smooth skin of Loki's back tracing up along the well known places of his spine, and into the small secret places he knew where all the dips and muscles traded off into sensitive spots that made the god sigh.
"I will never ever need to sleep without you. I think that will be one thing I'd like to make sure of, is that no matter what this prison does, is that I'll come home to you every night, to kiss your face, and love you some before bed." He hoped that one day they'd be able to sleep in the same bed at night, but he knew that for now it was good enough that he had a room in the same house and that he could make the promise to always come home, and never stay the night at another person's house. This was a tiny show of love that he could give in a prison that made relationships so very difficult.
no subject
“I must apologize for my part of not communicating well. I know sometimes I seem to have it all together, but relationships truly are quite new to me, at least this kind of relationship. It was not something I ever thought I could have or even deserved so I never put much thought into it. I am afraid it has been a bit of a learning curve.” He smiled softly at Sky, just so happy he hadn’t ruined everything. He might have to actually start praying to the Norns if his luck kept up like this.
Sky’s words filled him with a sense of peace he hadn’t often known. It felt like a promise with more intent than Loki was used to and he truly couldn’t be happier. He didn’t actually need Sky to promise these things, but he appreciated it none-the-less. “Then I shall look forward to every evening and every moment we spend together. Now, after you get your things, we can see about making your room more to your style, if you wish. It is really quite generic right now. Please know you may do with it anything you wish and I would gladly help with whatever you may need.”
no subject
"We all have trouble with talking sometimes. You can't fucking blame yourself all the time. I know that you're new to relationships like this, and so am I. I only had one screwed up relationship before this with Stella, and one that... well, you know what happened to Bloom. I told you earlier. I used to blame myself, but I know it's not all my fault. You deserve both Duo and myself. You're wonderful, and I'm so lucky to fucking have you." He brushed his fingers along Loki's face and leaned in to kiss him softly, nuzzling their lips together before tracing the outside of Loki's lips with his tongue, flicking across them playfully with a smile.
"I love the way you taste, all of you." He looked around. He hadn't really made a room all his before. He'd had his room at home. It was simple with pictures of his horses and himself, a big window that looked outside. He'd have taken something like that, but it was quite impossible here. He missed rolling hills and his horses, the beautiful landscape he grew up with. He'd trade it for being with Loki though, he'd trade anything for that. "I don't know, this is alright for now. Can you take me to my cube, and I'll grab my clothes and a bag of things to bring back and we're done. I don't have anything really. I'm ready to be here."
no subject
“I know, I do and I am trying, but it seems I am a work in progress.” He smiled softly at Sky, head tilting into his gentle touch. The idea that he deserved the love of one person was still a new concept to him, but two? Though he revelled in how happy it made him, he couldn’t stop worrying about how it could all go wrong. He pushed those negative thoughts from his head though, at least for the moment. Right now he had Sky here, happy and in his arms. How could he think anything but positive thoughts?
The kiss was sweet and yet passionate and Loki couldn’t help but marvel in what it meant to have such a thing. “Oh yes? Then you must taste me more often,” he said, half teasingly. He felt like he could kiss Sky forever and not get bored. His grin spread and he leaned in to kiss Sky once more quickly. “I will gladly take you to get your things. And we do not have to do anything to your room. Just know you can if you wish to.”
Loki pulled Sky in close and kissed him once more. “Here we go.” A moment later, they were in Sky’s cube, ready to get his things and leave the small cell behind for good.